6 Ways Facebook Ruins Relationships.

1. Mystique Is Lost

New relationships are fun because we are still learning about someone and their lives. We are intrigued by their likes and dislikes, routines, and desires. Facebook takes this away with unnecessary status updates about every second of your life. "I just got home from work, soon i'll be going to bed, tomorrow i'll get up and go to school, and then i'll secretly fart." No one actually gives a shit about your life...They are only interested if you post pictures of excessive alcohol consumption, become pregnant, or start a hatebook fight with your arch nemesis. Leave something to the imagination because spontaneity is in and predictability is boring.

2. Changing Your Relationship Status

When you were in high school it was "cool" to change your relationship status as often as you changed your underwear. We've all been there and we've all done it. We changed our status so everyone could see we finally got someone to appreciate our chapped lips and studded belts. But now that we've grown older, we contemplate whether we need to change our status for the world to see and lets not fool ourselves into thinking its because we don't want anyone to know...because in reality we still want everyone to be aware. The reason we hold back?? Those home recking, alcoholic and scantily clad women whom no ones wants to date but everyone wants to fornicate. You probably just thought of the one trying to ruin your companionship now....or five. These slores take pride in ruining relationships, in fact they consider it a game. They're the ones that take pictures in their bikinis in February and dress like Pamela Anderson AKA no guy actually respects who or what they are...but for some reason still want to bang. There are male versions of the same species so don't get your boxer briefs in a wad guys. Point is, these creatures exist and almost always, sometime or another, ruin even the most pristine relationships.

3. Facebook Ruins Your Image

These days parents are now hacking into a database that used to be forgiving...the internet. No longer are inappropriate puns and drunk pictures appropriate. Your significant other's mother just adds you into her stalking network and you suddenly feel a pit in your stomach. She thinks you're as sweet as baby spice and smarter than Einstein. Do you accept or deny? Accepting means you're innocent image is tarnished and denying means you have something to hide..which you do...Everything. You accept because you're hoping she won't find your college photo album or maybe your vulgar blog site. She does though and you are now in a pickle. You want to continue dating her devilishly handsome son, but soon enough she'll realize you're nothing but trouble. I like to wear short skirts and heels, I have the mouth of a black rapper, and a dirty mind of an 18 year old boy...So what? I'm also a straight B student and rarely get speeding tickets. Does that matter? Yeah, right. Say goodbye to Thanksgivings and Church goings...you are never welcome again.

4. Pictures

This one hardly needs an explanation. It goes without being said that if you're within 6 feet of an attractive person that you want to take them to pound town. Obviously.

5. You Are Accessible By The Click Of A Button

At first thought, this might not seem like such a big deal...until the last person you'd ever want to associate with writes on your wall. You know that random person you drunkly made out with freshman year at a Sigma Chi frat party? The one you haven't seen since and cringe at thought of EVER running into again...they write on your wall saying they saw you on campus and hope you're doing okay. You contemplate deleting the wall post and their friendship, but its been up for 3 hours and you know the damage has been done. All the sudden you are getting interrogated like you robbed a bank. Did you actually see this person? No. Could they have possibly made it up to purposely ruin your new relationship with an insecure partner? Probable. Could it just have been an innocent attempt at conversation? Absolutely. But it did more damage than it did good. Why? Because apparently a relationship now means property management. Imagine that.

6. Check ins

Besides the fact that checking in is highly unnecessary; these harmlessly intended and sad excuses to depict an interesting life, can cause great damage in relationships. After your amazing date at the dollar theater and delectable meal at The Home Town Buffet you begin the drive home in your boyfriends beat down, neon green geo. The entire time you are only anticipating the sloppy make out session that will take place in your parents driveway. You leave his car with smeared make up and bad breath...but nonetheless can't help but fly to cloud 9. As you climb in bed to lay and dream about his luscious chapped lips...you see he checks in at a friends house. You are instantly sitting up and fuming. Didn't he just say he was going home to play xbox live with his cousin in Idaho? Why the hell is he at some guys house? This obviously means he is seeing someone else and is trying to hide it from you (even though he clearly posted it on his social networking site). You call him 15 times, he answers none of the phone calls and you leave five, ten minute voicemails screaming about how "you thought he was different from all the rest." After hours of tossing and turning, you finally fall asleep. You are woken up by a phone call from him saying he went to play xbox with his friends and didn't have service. Now, you look like an insecure idiot who he no longer wants to date. Thank you Facebook.

Think twice about making your relationship public. My advice would be to not even add your significant other, and if you are already friends....delete that sucker.

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